THE RESPECTFUL NOTE

If there is anything more convoluted than divorce, count me out. The participants can be mean, nasty, and above all disrespectful. My future ex wanted the divorce immediately, as he and the trollop already had wedding plans. I must have been out in left field as I had no idea that he even had a mistress. Goodbye to bad rubbish, although that takes longer than you have any idea of.

After a year, we were divorced, and the state handed each of us a copy of our Marital Agreement and then washed their hands of our mess. The 49-page Agreement listed the rules for each of us to execute for a successful divorce. Ha, Ha, Ha!

The Agreement ordered him to pay monthly alimony for five years and remove his belongings from my home within three months. Over a year later, my son paid for packing and storage of his father’s stuff while stationed in Afghanistan. Alimony was MIA! My inherited family home became a huge challenge as my ex, and I had placed it in a Trust for our kids. The Marital Agreement stipulated that I would pay him $142,000 as his portion of the home’s value, at that time. I was also ordered to have the refinancing and his name off the loan we had within three months’ time. And, of course, he wanted that money immediately for the divorce that he demanded. I had no idea that refinancing a home would turn into a fifteen-month and three lenders marathon.

While I was dealing with refinancing, my ex filed for bankruptcy, allowing him to get out of paying alimony and as a result, I had to retain a bankruptcy attorney. Per the bankruptcy proceedings, I graciously allowed an appraiser, ordered by the court, to evaluate the ex’s new list of stuff, such as silver and crystal that he did not ask for during the divorce. That was so he could reduce his alimony payments, however, his payments were still MIA. His attorney then demanded that I allow a friend of the ex – who didn’t have friends – into my home to pack the new items. Smelling a rat, I searched the internet for the name of his friend and low-and-behold it was his new son-in-law. Not happening! About that time, I was asked by a title company to retain a real estate attorney to complete a property search. They were looking for leans on a home my parents purchased in 1936. More time and another attorney.

Another stipulation of the Marital Agreement was that my ex had the right to show up at my home should I not have been able to refinance and therefore remove his name from the mortgage by a certain date.

On a Friday afternoon, fifteen months after the divorce was final, I received a call at 4:30 p.m. PST informing me that they had just received information that my ex had recently married. What does that have to do with me? The title company was now requiring that the “new bride” sign a quitclaim deed before they would sign off on the title. WOW, WOW! Not exactly what I said.

I was just about to dial 911, as I was ready to go into cardiac arrest. The lady from the title company tried her best to explain that it was for my benefit, as the new bride could someday come after my property if she didn’t sign the quitclaim. No fooling! I believe she was behind most of the challenges my ex put me through. Alimony still MIA! As I said, it was Friday, and my attorney lived on the East Coast. It would be approximately 53 hours before I could talk to him. You can bet I was up waiting for the clock to strike 9:00 a.m. East Coast time on Monday morning.

Fortunately, my attorney was in the office and managed to assure me that he would be in touch with the ex’s attorney.

By late afternoon on Monday, I received an email from my ex. It read “If you want my bride to sign a quitclaim deed, you’ll have to send her a respectful note requesting her to do you the favor of signing one, and send it to my email address.”

The words “MY Bride” almost made me nauseous, but it was about time and time was money. My attorney wrote the note, sent it to me and I copied and pasted and pressed forward. The home that had been in my family for 73 years was finally in my name and I loved every minute I lived there without drama.

That’s not exactly the end of the newlyweds, but enough for now.

Nancy

Scroll to Top