I was forced into a divorce with three words, “I’m divorcing you.”

Wham, bam, thank you mam and for him, it was over. I had NO idea that he had a mistress much less a date for their marriage. I was shocked for almost a month and then I needed a plan to screw him.

Hay fella, what about a divorce? I was not about to roll over and be charming after 46 years of supporting your army career that included two deployments and a long list of moves and civilian unemployment.

A divorce will test your endurance to the max. The process is like a roller coaster ride, with a few ups and lots of downs. When you emerge from the months of stress, be proud of yourself for surviving the nasty experience. But it’s only the beginning.

I was so naïve, thinking that the marital agreement drawn up by the Court would be followed by my ex and me. We had approved everything in that agreement, and I thought all we had to do was follow it like a road map. The divorce papers required me to obtain a new military ID, put my car and home insurance in my name and refinance my home. I thought that the new ID card would be the easiest to cross of the list.

In order to obtain the new ID, I would need a copy of our marriage certificate that was in a safe deposit box, so I contacted the bank. The bank sent me a letter stating that I could not obtain the license without my ex’s permission. You’re kidding, of course!

If I had that license in my little hot hand I would have poured a drink and lit the damn thing on fire and just watch it burn away.

I scanned the bank’s letter to my attorney who then got in touch with the ex’s attorney and several weeks later I had a copy of the marriage license. Why not the original? Of course, the next invoice from my attorney showed the charge for the fiasco. I finally had a new ID card. The Navy corpsman made three attempts to make the photo acceptable and then apologized for the bad lighting, but no one looks good in plastic.

The next item on my list was to remove the ex’s stuff from my house. The marital agreement ordered him to remove his stuff within one month, but I did not want him in my home. With help, his stuff was removed to the garage and 12 months later I hired a mover to take the stuff to storage. The storage facility let him know where his stuff was and the address for the storage fees.

He was not pleasant when he called to bitch about moving his stuff off my property after a year without giving his permission.

Just one of those court orders that he didn’t follow. Whoops! Divorce and a move across the country are expensive.


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